I'll write
the back story later, but the gist of it is this: I am going to need a modified radical neck dissection surgery. On both sides.
Yes, I have metastases to lymph nodes in the posterior triangle on both sides of my throat with some rogue nodes up front near the jugular. That means I am going to be flayed like a trout.
Sorry, but I have scars all over my body already. The only part of me that is fairly scar-free is my legs. I am not a beautiful woman. I have a bent spine, a long horsey face, spider veins near my knees, freckles in all the wrong places and scars that run up and down my back, around my right side, across my belly, over my lungs and across my neck. Now I will have giant radical L-shaped gashes on both sides of my throat, slashing down to my collarbone. My throat! One of the only lovely places left to destroy.
I already don't wear swimsuits in public. I bemoan dresses without stockings. I wear cardigans to hide the scars that peep up from my shirt collars. Is it vain of me to be totally devastated to know that I am now going to look like Helena Bonham-Carter circa "Frankenstein" in a wedding gown?
I don't typically take this attitude, but enough is enough. I've had fucking enough.
oh i think you're a beauty. scars and all.
also maybe we'll get you some sort of modified wetsuit where your beautiful legs show through but the rest is all covered up. i'll work on the design asap. we'll add some holes where scarfree flesh shows through randomly just for fun. it's gonna be HOT.